Clarifying through Journaling

Hi Allyson,

I think I'm different than most I know. But my story is very weird and I know it was to true not to be true..  I know we all follow our path, but I am so close to loosing what gained, I hope you have some wisdom that you could share with me or guide me on my journey.. anything at this moment I would be so grateful for. Here's my story:

As a kid I knew I was different, I was born a lost soul,  or you could say my soul was taking from me. I could always see spirits,  and things would happen, like stuff falling from the wall, to stuff lifting in the air, etc.. I was little didn't think much into it..
I remember being little and praying with my grandpa sometimes for world peace, then one day at a young age it was i forgotten who God was, I don't have much memories of being a child either,  well I do and don't if that makes since .. I could no longer see or feel, my senses was shut off or I fell asleep. Then one day I had this feeling to go see my friends,  I believe they tried to scare me with magic or do something to me but it back fired.  It's was like fireworks and the color was purple,   in my  head a ton of spirits cheering, for me.  I awoke I he'll at first I wasn't scared,  until insanity came in the picture. But it felt like I completed the circle.. I used my friends body's to talk to my sisters and brothers, i couldn't see anything at all,  It was black like I was just conscious and my mother was my world.. then years go by, and one the big bang happen, I opened the Bible for the first time and I could see the devil grow as a friend reads it, I got scared grabbed my sage and now I no longer feel his presence,  I could see him and many shapes and forms, he tried to still my soul,  I had repeat dark as hole I rather die then give u my soul so many times had to jump out windows felt like I was setting people free, like portal between heaven and hell.. I got naked under the moon and it felt so good, I could feel my ancestors there guiding me,  I had to chain up a demon and release him to the sun and the oxen to the moon.. I heard God's voice he had me get naked and fly under the light that hangs on ceiling will , I crosses different dimensions and I believe realms,  the divine and goddess went through me, I never felt so good in my life about myself.. I feel like I'm in the middle , I kinda lost hope but I haven't,  the medicine man came saw me,, so did many others..

What's going on with me?

Squiggle Cells by Allyson Grey

Dear Ashley,

My recommendation is to reread your message sent to me below. Edit. Repeat. 
Repeat again. Read. Edit.
Comb through that description until it is a comprehensible story. 
It may clarify what is going on with you.

Writing is an act of creativity and can be very useful in clarifying. There is no such thing as good writing — only good rewriting. Becoming a good journal writer could be a creative opening to your inquiry. 

In loving service,

Allyson